


Your Everything

by michiitaa



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, so is saruhiko, universe where saruhiko doesn't join scepter 4, yata is dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 05:30:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17135879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michiitaa/pseuds/michiitaa
Summary: Taking one last look back at the bar behind him he felt the air get punched out of him as he saw Yata laughing with the others inside, his smile was so mesmerizing it took all of his willpower to tear his gaze away. His eyes started to burn as he continued to walk to the train station; blaming it on the cold air. Just before he stepped onto his train he let out a shaky breath,“I’ll miss you more than anything, Misaki,”Universe where instead of joining Scepter 4, Saruhiko runs off in order to not feel like he's losing Yata.





	Your Everything

This wasn’t a part of his plan, a bag on his back and winter boots on to help him walk through the layer of snow that was on the ground. He was supposed to stay by his side, be his favorite, and be his everything. He wasn’t supposed to be tossed aside like a used dish rag at the end of the night, left to wonder what he had done wrong. Sure, he wasn’t as energetic as the others, and maybe he wasn’t as exciting to be around, but they had history, they had something none of the others could ever wished to have. Unfortunately, that only seemed to matter to Saruhiko, and no matter what he tried he couldn’t seem to fall back into Yata’s vision, always seen as nothing more than a background character. 

He had enough, he was better than this, he deserved more than being treated like he was never his favorite. He had no intentions to stick around just to watch himself become replaced with the others, he wanted to leave knowing he meant at least a little bit to Yata, even if it wasn’t much. He wanted to hold onto whatever it was they had left, no matter how thin that string was, he would never break it, he would cherish it with everything he had and hope it was enough to keep him sane.

Taking one last look back at the bar behind him he felt the air get punched out of him as he saw Yata laughing with the others inside, his smile was so mesmerizing it took all of his willpower to tear his gaze away. His eyes started to burn as he continued to walk to the train station; blaming it on the cold air. Just before he stepped onto his train he let out a shaky breath, 

“I’ll miss you more than anything, Misaki,”

Inside the bar, Yata sneezed and looked out of the window at the lightly falling snow, “Has anyone seen Saruhiko? He likes the snow,” He looked around, noting his friend wasn’t there, thinking maybe he was tired and turned in early for the night.

“I’m sure he’ll be up early enough to see it,” Anna said softly, taking a sip of her water. Yata smiled at her,

“Most likely, I’ll get up early so we can go out together!” He laughed, excited to spend some time with Saruhiko. It had been a while since just the two of them had done anything, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Yata went to sleep a little earlier that night, hoping to be up before Saruhiko for once.

It was almost ten in the morning when Yata became a little worried and decided to check in on his friend, and it was exactly nine fifty-four in the morning when Yata felt his heart sink into his stomach. His apartment was empty, and all he saw was a note on the coffee table that read, “See you,” His breathing began to pick up, this had to be a joke, a really bad joke. He stormed out of the building, not even sure where he was going, his mind was in panic mode and he couldn’t seem to calm himself down. He was out looking for him until the sun had set, returning to the bar hoping one of them had seen or heard something.

They didn’t know anything. 

They didn’t know where he was, or why he left.

Yata was afraid.

Confused.

Angry.

“Why the hell did he just leave? And what kind of note is this!? ‘See you,’!?” He threw the crumpled note to the ground. Mikoto walked over and picked it up, setting it on the bar. They all sat in silence, unsure of how to feel as they watched Yata slowly break down. None of them knew what to say, and decided it was best not to say a word. No one fully understood the situation, all they knew was that Saruhiko was gone, and they didn’t know who or what to blame.

Five months went by and Yata had yet to even get a text from Saruhiko, and yes, he checked his phone every day. He’d thought about messaging him, but decided against it. If he wanted to leave so badly he wouldn’t want to hear from Yata. And why should he try to reach out to him? It’s not like the jerk deserved it after running out on him and the others. That didn’t make it any easier, he still looked around for him when he went out, hoping he would see him across the street or inside some store. 

He tried to go about his days like nothing was wrong, acting like there wasn’t a piece of him missing. He knew the others noticed, but decided to let him handle it on his own, which he was thankful for. It was hard enough not knowing where Saruhiko was, trying to talk about it would just piss him off. He spent more time outside skating around, and sometimes he would take the trains to random locations and skate there, hoping, waiting, to find his dumb friend. Every day was the same with him making his way back to the bar, talking with the others to try and cheer himself up. 

He laughs with them, enjoying being in their company, but it isn’t the same without Saruhiko sitting across the bar from him, reading some book and only adding in snide comments every now and then. He missed those stupid one liners, always perfectly timed, like he knew what the conversations would be ahead of time and already had his words picked out for the night. He missed his voice, his stupid laugh, it felt wrong looking around the bar and not seeing him. He would still sometimes subconsciously reach out his hand to grab Saruhiko’s arm to balance himself after he was done laughing, only to grab at an empty space. His smile would fade and he would straighten up, swallowing the lump in his throat that formed when he remembered there was no one to hold onto.

That’s how his days and nights would go, and they would end with him walking back to his apartment alone, refusing to let anyone go with him. He always walked back with Saruhiko since they lived in the same building. Going home with anyone else wouldn’t feel right. Instead, he walked with his headphones on, listening to music the two of them used to enjoy together. Most nights Saruhiko would end up in Yata’s apartment sitting on the couch with him in a comfortable silence as they both did their own thing. 

Now here he was, sitting on his couch looking at his laptop, boring holes into the screen, completely unmotivated to do anything with it. He let out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in, standing up and picking up his laptop. He made his way into his room, tossing his laptop on his desk only to have it miss and slide off and land in a pile of clothes on the floor. He cursed under his breath and walked over to make sure it wasn’t damaged. As he lifted it up he noticed there was an envelope under the jacket it landed on. He didn’t remember putting that there, but to be fair he hadn’t touched that jacket in months. He set his computer down, bringing the envelope into the light.

His name was written on the front of it, and he was sure he recognized the handwriting as Saruhiko’s. He quickly ripped it open finding a hand written letter inside, almost unsure how to feel at the moment. He shook his head and made his way back to the couch, sitting down and opening up the folded paper to read its contents. 

“You’re probably going to be mad knowing you, but I know you’ll get over it. Look, I refuse to be set on the backburner and watch you drift away from me. It hurts, you know? And it’s stupid how much it hurts, I shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. I hate feeling like this, like I never really meant anything to you. Because if I did, then it shouldn’t be so easy to forget me. I felt safe around you, knowing that no matter what I would always have you. Guess I was dreaming! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad you made other friends, I don’t care about that. But I’m not going to stand around and watch as I get replaced. I’m not going to keep feeling like shit while you have the time of your life forgetting about us. I’m done with it all. I’m leaving before you forget about me completely, at least that way I know you’ll remember me, even if it’s just a little bit.  
-Saruhiko”

Yata’s hands were trembling, not sure if it was out of anger or grief, too many thoughts were running through his mind. How didn’t he notice what was going on with Saruhiko? He tried to piece everything together; had he really made him feel like that? Like he was forgetting him? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that was exactly what he was doing. He was spending less and less time with his friend, cancelling plans or bringing others along when they actually did get together. The only time they spent with each other was on their walks home and the hour or so before Saruhiko left his apartment to let Yata sleep. He did this. He pushed him away, he was too preoccupied with the others to even see how he was hurting the one person that meant more to him than anything in the damn universe. 

His most important person.

“Shit…” He curled in on himself. Why didn’t Saruhiko ever say anything to him? Why didn’t he confide in Yata? They never had any secrets, they told each other everything. No, that’s not entirely true. Yata kept a secret from his friend, and maybe that was why he started to spend less time with him, maybe he was subconsciously trying to distance himself from Saruhiko. Everything hit him at once, like a punch to the gut that takes all the oxygen out of your body, Yata suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

His thoughts were a mess, all he could do was think how it had taken this long to find that damn letter. He remembered the day he found out Saruhiko left he had searched all day for him. He came home and in his frustration he threw his jacket across his room, and it had slid over his desk before hitting the floor. He hadn’t bothered to pick it up because it was a jacket he had borrowed from Saruhiko, he didn’t have the heart to touch it after he left. What was he thinking? 

He needed to find his friend.

He needed to know where Saruhiko was.

He needed to see his Saruhiko.

His Saruhiko.

Immediately he fished out his phone from his pocket and hit the call button next to Saruhiko’s contact photo. One ring. Two rings. Three, and suddenly a voice was heard on the other end of the call, “Misaki?”

He forced himself to choke out a response, “Saru… Where are you?”

“Why?”

“I- I need to see you,” his voice cracked. He had never felt so vulnerable over a phone call, let alone while talking to Saruhiko. There was a long pause, he would’ve thought that the other had hung up if he couldn’t hear the sound of muffled music. 

“I’ll text you the address,” was all he said before he hung up the phone. No more than a few seconds had passed before Yata’s phone vibrated, a text from Saruhiko with an address and nothing more. It was almost ten at night and raining, but Yata couldn’t care any less. He grabbed his skateboard and a raincoat and ran outside. He skated as fast as he could to the nearest train station, the only thing on his mind was his destination. 

One train ride later, he was that much closer to finally seeing him. He ran off of the train, throwing his board on the ground and pushing off as fast as he could manage in the rain. He was doing all he could to make it to Saruhiko, not sure at first what he was going to say. Was he supposed to apologize? Probably, but he wasn’t entirely to blame. Saruhiko was always one to have a flare for the dramatic, instead of talking to Yata he ran off. Although, Yata was the one that made Saruhiko feel like he couldn’t talk to him, and he was the one that pushed him away because of his own fears. He was scared if Saruhiko got any closer to him he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back. What they had was perfect, and he dint want to ruin that because he wanted to be selfish, so instead he did a complete 180 and threw everything that they had away.

Before he knew it he was at the address, his hand reaching out and pressing the button on the side of the building. He heard a buzzing sound and a click of the front door and immediately swung the door open and ran inside. He took no time running up a few flights of stairs, finally finding the apartment number he was looking for. He held a hand up and watched as it hovered over the door, he couldn’t bring himself to knock. Yata had never been scared like this before, he had no idea what he was doing. Throwing any negative feelings he had out the window he finally knocked, his hand still shaking after it fell back to his side. 

He could heard someone walking to the door and stop just on the other side. It felt like an eternity as he heard the lock slide and the door slowly creak open. His gaze shot up to look at the face he had been searching for these last five months. The face he had seen every time he closed his eyes to sleep, the face he wished he could see when he woke up. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t find any of the words he wanted to say, instead he just stood there, staring at those blue eyes looking down at him. It felt almost unreal, finally looking at him, he was right there, and Yata was too afraid to touch him, scared he wasn’t real and he was just going to wake up from another dream.

“I’ve never seen you at a loss for words before,” Saruhiko finally spoke. There it was, that voice he had been longing to hear for so long now, and for the second time that day he had felt the air get knocked out of him. “Jesus, did you skate here? It’s pouring outside you dumbass,”

“I wanted… I needed to see you.” He made sure to put emphasis on ‘needed’ because it wasn’t a want, it was a need. Saruhiko’s expression softened just a bit at that as he sighed, 

 

“Come in,” He stepped aside and let Yata enter. After he shut the door they both just stood in the entry way, not sure what the other was thinking. Yata knew he needed to say something, anything.

“I fucked up,” those three words were all he could get out. He was trying to continue, but he couldn’t seem to find the right words. Saruhiko just stood there, his expression was hard to read, but Yata could’ve sworn he saw his eyes water ever so slightly. He swallowed hard, deciding it was now or never, he needed Saruhiko back in his life, and he needed to use his words to do that.

“I never… I never wanted you to leave, but I know I was the one that made you feel so shitty you left to get rid of that feeling, so I can’t even be angry,” his hand started to tremble, but he pushed himself to continue, “I hated not having you next to me, I hate it. It didn’t matter where I went or who I was with, no matter what I did I felt like throwing up. I felt fucking sick. I didn’t know where you were and I was so fucking scared but,” his body started to shake, “It was all my fault, okay!? I pushed you away because I thought it would make the feeling go away! I was scared if you were with me I would fuck up, I would do something stupid and ruin everything!” he let out a weak laugh, squeezing his eyes shut to try and will away the tears that were forming, “I wanted you to feel like you didn’t need to be around me, not make you feel like I was forgetting you, I couldn’t ever do that you idiot,” 

“Why?” Yata looked up. Saruhiko’s voice was so quiet, it was barely above a whisper.

“I…” His stomach felt like it was about to jump out of his throat, “I didn’t want you to hate me,” They both stood there in silence for a few minutes before Saruhiko finally spoke, 

“What the hell would make you think I could hate you for anything?” Yata knew he couldn’t stop here, he had to tell him everything, he had to let him know why he acted the way he did.

“I wanted more. When I was with you I wanted to be the only one with you, I wanted to be the only person you thought of, the only person you spent time with. I wanted to be so fucking selfish and I knew I couldn’t ask that of you. I started spending less time with you because I thought you would find other people to be with. And maybe if you did that I wouldn’t be able to act like I was.” He felt the corners of his eyes start to burn, but he soldiered on, “I wanted to be your favorite,” Another shaky breath, “I wanted to be your everything,” he felt the tears start to roll down his cheeks, but he couldn’t make himself care. His emotions were all over the place and all he could do was hope Saruhiko wouldn’t kick him out. 

He was fully prepared to hear Saruhiko tell him to leave, to never speak to him again. He tensed his body when he saw him open his mouth to speak, “You idiot,” He swore he saw a smile on Saruhiko’s face, but before he could say anything he felt two arms wrap around and pull him into Saruhiko’s chest. He couldn’t keep up with what was happening, all he could so was slowly lift his arms so he could hold onto the taller boy to keep him from running away again. 

They stayed like that for a while, the rain that had soaked Yata to the bones was slowly seeping into Saruhiko’s clothing, but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest. Finally he heard him speak, “You can’t possibly think that would’ve upset me, because if you did, then you’re even dumber than you look,” Yata snapped his head up to yell at his friend, but any words he could have spoken were lost as he saw just how soft Saruhiko looked. His smile sucked him in, and all he could do was smile back and start to laugh. Not because of anything but the absolute happiness he was feeling,

“Don’t be an ass,” He said through his laughter. 

One of Saruhiko’s hands found their way to Yata’s face, and he gently leaned into the touch, “If wanting me to be your everything makes you selfish then by all means, be as selfish as you want,” Yata didn’t have time to ask what he meant because Saruhiko leaned in close enough for their noses to touch, “Please, be selfish with me,” That was all he needed to hear from him.

Yata leaned his head to the side and crashed his lips into Saruhiko’s. He had no idea what he was doing, he had never kissed anyone before, but he liked how it felt. Being so close to Saruhiko made his head spin, and before he knew it he was being pulled even closer. Their chests were pressed up against each other, and Saruhiko pulled his lips away for a fraction of a second before kissing him again. It was a few minutes of trying to get as close as they possibly could to one another, both too scared to pull away. At some point Yata felt Saruhiko’s tongue swipe across his bottom lip, and immediately parted his lips for him. They spent what felt like hours twisting their tongues together, refusing to separate before they had completely memorized the others mouth. Saruhiko tasted like peppermint, and his mouth was cool, unlike Yata’s. His mouth felt like it was on fire, the feeling of Saruhiko’s tongue made it feel like he tried to eat lava. Eventually they pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of them as they tried to catch their breath, refusing to look away from one another. 

“You’ve always been my everything,” Saruhiko finally spoke. Yata could only say the first thing that came to mind,

“Come back home you dumbass,” Saruhiko smiled,

“Miss me that much?”

“I don’t have anything with you gone, idiot, I need you to come back,” Saruhiko leaned back in to kiss Yata, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away, his hand holding Yata’s face,

“Anything for my everything,” Yata shoved his face into Saruhiko’s chest, holding onto him as tightly as he could. 

“I’m so sorry,”

“I know…”

They both just stood there, too comfortable to move until Saruhiko spoke up, “Can I come back tomorrow? It’s raining and I don’t want to get any wetter than I am from holding you,” Yata shoved Saruhiko away, a smile tugging at his lips. They both laughed as Saruhiko went to grab a couple towels and a change of clothes for both of them.

They ended up falling asleep on the couch, Yata sprawled out on top of Saruhiko, his music playing in the background. 

Yata woke up the next morning to see Saruhiko underneath him and all he could do was smile and lie back down, refusing to let go of him ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes hello I had this thought a while ago and decided to write it at 2am like a dumbass. Anyway! I hope you enjoy!!


End file.
